10 ways to improve the Cardinals

Some fun Saturday afternoon suggestions on ways to improve the Cardinals team.

1) Let Fredbird play first base. With Albert just 5-for-28 on the season, Fredbird can’t be any worse, right? He’s also cheaper. Double win.
2) Move Schumaker to short stop and Theriot to second. Might as well play one of our middle infielders in their proper position.
3) Check into the legality of allowing Adam Wainwright to use the hot dog t-shirt gun instead of actually throwing the ball.
4) Swap the St. Louis Cardinals and the Memphis Redbirds, after all the Redbirds are averaging 5 runs a game.
5) Sign Carlos Silva. While it might not help the team, many Cardinals fans would enjoy having the Cubs pay him $13 million to play for us.
6) Institute a point system like the NHL, two points for a win, one for an extra innings loss. Then take a page from the PGA and have the lowest score win.
7) See if the Dodgers would trade Ryan Theriot for Aaron Miles. Miles could immediately take over as the new closer.
8) Get everyone bigger gloves.
9) Build a new stadium. I know, Busch Stadium is just new, but the Cards won the World Series their second season in Busch II, and their first season in Busch III. If the pattern remains, they’ll win the next one before the year before they move into the new stadium.
10) Send the underperforming team members to the eye doctor. It worked for Ricky Vaughn, it might work for us.